Much like resumes, there are some words that are used so often in online dating profiles that they no longer have any meaning. Lots of common words that used to have positive connotations no longer have the effect you hope they will, and they tell prospective dates very little about you.
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Your online dating profile must strike a balance of highlighting your best qualities while still coming across as authentic. The trick is to not use words to describe yourself that you wouldn’t normally use in conversation. There’s an instruction that many writers follow: show don’t tell. The same applies to your profile.
When you feel the need to make a blanket statement about yourself, how could you better express that quality through action? So, instead of saying, “I’m adventurous”, could you say, “I’ve been known to show up at the airport and book a last-minute flight to Peru”? The latter makes you seem interesting and can serve as a possible conversation nugget.
The idea is that you never make a statement about yourself that you can’t prove. This rule applied to your research papers in High School and it applies to your dating profile. Except, the exercise is way more fun when you’re hoping to get a date and not studying the intricacies of Macbeth.
While there isn’t a formula for creating the perfect online dating profile, there are five words that you definitely want to avoid.
Have you ever met anyone who admitted to hating fun? People will most likely assume (and hope!) that you enjoy having fun. Using the term “fun-loving” to describe yourself doesn’t provide any concrete information. Instead of using “fun-loving”, try to provide examples of what you find fun. Different people are going to have different definitions of fun, and you want to find someone who shares similar ideas of fun.
Honest people rarely have to tell people they’re honest. By describing yourself as honest, you across as being on the defensive or having something to prove. The same is true of saying you value honesty in a partner. Who doesn’t? Making a point of including this in your profile hints at what might have happened in some of your past relationships, and you definitely don’t want that to be part of your first impression.
Of course, you don’t want to come across as uptight in your profile, but consider using a different adjective. What does carefree mean? Either you don’t care about anything in the world or you have absolutely no responsibilities. Whether you’re a man or a woman, passion is always an attractive characteristic. Try listing a few things you do care about instead of pretending to be completely indifferent to everything that might happen.
I think we can agree that this is the most boring adjective in the Universe. You can be kind, caring, and attentive, but you don’t want to be described as nice. Nice is forgettable, and you’re hoping to make an impression! Choose adjectives that show off your personality.
This is a phrase rather than a word, but it is perhaps the biggest faux pas you can include on your online profile. You want to create a positive profile, as negativity is a major turnoff for a lot of people. Highlighting things you hate suggests that you dedicate more time to thinking about what you don’t like than what you do. Rather include ways you love to spend your time, books you love to read, or food you enjoy. Try to connect over shared interests instead of shared dislikes.
Always Emphasis What You Offer
After you have crafted a profile that reflects your personality, be sure to avoid including a list of demands for another person. You want to highlight what you offer, not a long laundry list of qualities you expect in another person.
Can you imagine starting a conversation in the park, grocery store, or bar with all the things you expect someone else to offer in a relationship? Always remember that your profile serves as the first impression, and it’s much harder to bounce back from a negative impression than it is maintain a good one.